A COLLABORATION: The HUMAN EXPERIENCE

Some things will never stop consuming you, no matter how much you give to them. The pull is never-ending. No matter how much you get done, there is always more. No matter how much you explain, they still won’t understand. The only way to realize that you are being drained and used for all that you have is by diverting your energy and attention elsewhere. When you begin to give your time to something other than what may be consuming your entire life force, in those moments of reflection, you may see the energy flow as necessary and desirable to yourself—or, what will come to light is that you are feeling dulled and drained by something you are trying so hard to keep in your life that isn’t supposed to be there.

There is an attachment I feel that runs deep into my soul. When I think of this desire I once had—something I craved to fit into my life—after a while of feeling used, bruised, and unheard, I began to realize that the energy I put into trying to mold and fit this into my life was being used against me. The truth is, the feeling of fighting for what I love is just a trauma response: being pushed away, but coming back to comfort the pain I see in them over and over again. I’ve heard it before, but unfortunately for me, I must learn by experience—that is just who I am.

When I think about it, it’s beautiful in a tragic way that I could cause myself so much pain—that I could just give all my light and energy to that other than myself—and feel the despair it creates when I am not filled upon return. And the last time you try to pour into that, you realize there is nothing. The life-force inside can barely shine for you. At this point, when you have given your everything, Its best to walk away, leave the things that don’t fill you with happiness and light—the things that don’t feed you back—the things that drain the light from your soul. Do not live to feed others with your life.

You have just given your life force to this entity, with your own free will, and that is painful. But know they will waste is just as quick as they drained you. You must leave and create your light again. Be wise enough to let them go with all you have given and brave enough to start a new. Attachment can be scary. A comfortable hell is not better than an unknown heaven. The attachment will still be a part of you—it will not go away so easily. You will have to remind yourself over and over that you deserve something greater. You will have to find the courage to outgrow the trauma and create a sense of wonder. Let go of the loss and create new.

In chaos, the mind and body will do what they need to survive. The consciousness will dissociate, and instinct will take over. When leaving this state of chaos, which you’ve made yourself comfortable in for so long, it’s extremely unnerving, uncomfortable, and scary. DO NOT RUN FROM THIS FEELING. When accepted, they help you grow and reflect on life. Sit in the discomfort. Let yourself heal. Mistakes are only learning lessons if let be, and the hurt and fear are just growing pains.

There are infinite possibilities and your life force is not meant to be siphoned endlessly, your energy is not made to feed others greediness, I believe In the right situation energies will multiply energies. Protect your peace there are poachers everywhere. Through lessons learned comes wisdom so don’t be scared to do anything that calls to you. Let life happen, and welcome the growing pains. Life may have its ups and downs but the only bad it has is the things you perceive to be.